Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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