are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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