Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
wow bdsm is so cute
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