After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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