I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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