Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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