Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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