i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
