Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
