I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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