i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
