I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
