Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
