just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
