I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
