All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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