The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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