That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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