I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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