boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
