I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
