I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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