Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
