Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
