im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
