so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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