Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
