Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
