At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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