Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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