i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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