I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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