Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
