I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize