I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
