there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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