i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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