I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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