Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
