So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
