If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
