Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

tell him to stop quoting family guy

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(914): View more from New York

i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

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(309): View more from Illinois

i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.

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