it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
