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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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• (806): View more from Texas

  i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  what are we doing this weekend?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost

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