i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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