id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
is that a dick in a sweater?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
