I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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