Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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