Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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