i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
