We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize