This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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