I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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