so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
