We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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