the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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