theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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