More tranny stories later!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
