Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
