She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
