I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
