It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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