my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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