that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
