I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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