Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its not stalking. its research.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
