a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
