I am in a vortex of obligation.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
