you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
