Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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