I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
