i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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