At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
this is an emotional support booty call
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
